The clouds are low
and they blanket the sky
like a wrinkled quilt
of white and grey,
but it doesn’t rain
not even a tell-tale drop.
The heavy clouds
hold the drops
on the tips of their tongues
like a secret.
And below them,
greener than I have ever seen,
dance in the wind
bending and swaying
perfectly in time
to music only they can hear.
The wild flowers bloom
on the sides of the roads,
showing off their brightest colours,
daring people to stop
and pick them.
I may not be in love
with where I’m at,
but I’m sure in love
with all the life
that surrounds me.
I am a major appreciator of the Earth. I love appreciating it from a global perspective, because no matter where I go it is always the same Earth under my feet. It’s amazing to think that no matter how different the landscape is, it’s all on the same planet. No matter how different the people are, we all belong to the same Earth. We all dance under the same stars, we all wake up to the same sun and sleep under the same moon. I think that is beautiful. I think the Earth we share is beautiful.
We all share this Earth. It is solid, ever-changing, and incredible. It is not an expendable resource that we own, it is an intricate system that we are a part of.
Today I’m celebrating Earth Day by not making any trash.
Let the Earth know how much you love it. Hug some trees, pick up some trash, maybe even promise to eliminate some needless everyday waste like plastic straws. Every day is Earth Day when you respect our amazing planet!
So many things are happening.
Not entirely bad, not entirely great.
Sometimes all at once, sometimes not enough.
Mostly uncertainty, with a few rare spots of clarity.
Equal parts anxious and excited.
Well, maybe it’s more of an 80-40 situation.
I have moments of silence,
And staccato bursts of happiness,
And weeks when I feel like I don’t even have time to breathe.
But there is always the steady course of nature.
The change of the seasons
And the movement of the sun
And the solid earth under my feet.
The leaves of the trees will still grow green
And then burn orange and red in the Autumn.
The flowers will still bloom
And their blossoms will fall.
No matter what happens.
And even the wind seems to whisper
“All will be well.”
Being where you are can be super difficult sometimes. Especially for international travellers like myself, who are often constantly sitting by our suitcases wringing our hands and plotting our next grand adventure. I’ve found it difficult to enjoy life as much when I’m not travelling. It affects my mental health, sends me spiraling. In fact, I am often discontent staying in one place for more than 5 months.
Which is obviously ridiculous, because I have nothing to be discontent about. I’m big on living in the moment, which I am very good at when I’m travelling, but when I’m not travelling my dis-contentedness gets in the way.
So I try to find little adventures to feed my soul and keep it satisfied until my next grand adventure, instead of sitting next to my suitcase going crazy.
As much as I hate the red dirt and wish I was seeing the mountains of Germany or the art of Vienna, I have to focus on what is happening now. As much as I wish I were in Europe buying a €1 baguette and speaking German, I have to learn to be content with where I’m at now.
Standing in nature gives me perspective. It is to hear the running water, to see the trees blossoming, and to inhale fresh air. It is to know that I am alive, that I am present, and that I am happy where I am.
I’m on a quest to find positive.
I am cyclically cynical. Chronically negative.
I try. I have good days. I have bad days. Usually the bad days stick out more than the good. I am not naturally positive, outwardly or inwardly.
I should be better.
I can’t do that.
I don’t look good.
It makes my anxiety worse, or maybe my anxiety makes it worse.
Stop it. Easier said than done.
My wise mother says, “Would you say that to your best friend?”
No, I wouldn’t.
I am pretty great.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
I am pretty freaking cute.
I try. I have good days. I have bad days. Sometimes the bad still sticks out more than the good. I am trying to be positive, inwardly and outwardly.
A few self-esteem boosting things I’ve been working on lately:
For every negative thought, attach a positive one.
I am terrible at this. —> Yeah but you’re a really great knitter.
Don’t stand in front of the mirror and intentionally find things about yourself you don’t like, be intentional about finding things you do like. No matter how small.
My thighs are too big. My eyes are super pretty.
You are your best friend, always be kind.
a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.
So who am I? Where am I going? What am I doing? What is important to me? What are my hopes, dreams, fears? What do other people see? What do I see?
I am not usually what people expect. I am a bundle of atoms and electrons and tea and contradictions.
I wear the grandma clothes I find at thrift stores and listen to rock music. I love plants but I can’t keep them alive. I love tea and coffee. I love the freedom of summer but winter is my favourite season. I love the cold, but live in a place that is warm 95% of the year (regrettably). I love (and need) to travel. I have an old soul.
I have a rabbit that I probably like more than most people. I love rain, and sunbeams. I love art museums, and mountains. I love the morning, and the night. I love the city, and the country. I love used books and old records. I am full of anxiety, and spirit. I hate people generally, but love them individually. I believe in God, love, and peace.
I am, simply, myself. I am constantly changing and growing, learning and moving. I will love myself, and I will love all others. I will stand up for what I believe in. It will be a challenge, but I will be unabashedly myself.